Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Spaghetti Amnesia: A Cautionary Tale

Tonight was literacy night at Eóin's school and we did not get home until later than our normal dinner time. So I thought to myself, "self - tonight would be a great spaghetti night. It's fast and easy." Really - what's not to love about spaghetti? There are only three steps:
1. Cook spaghetti
2. Brown ground beef
3. Crack open jar of sauce and mix with beef
Then you can sit, and have a hassle free dinner and move on with your evening.

This is where the amnesia comes into play. That is actually all you remember about making spaghetti, but those memories are from the years before your littles arrived. In reality, making and eating spaghetti with three children is more like this:
1. Boil water. The amount of time it takes said water to boil is directly proportionate to how quickly you actually need it to boil. For example, I have starving whining children so it will take at least 20 minutes before I see a solitary bubble.
2. Add spaghetti. Forget to set timer to ensure overcooked soggy state.
3. Turn on pan for meat.
4. Answer more inquiries on when dinner will be ready and forget to add meat to the pan.
5. When there is sufficient smoke as to remind you there is nothing in the pan, add meat and brown.
6. Crack open and add sauce to meat. (Thank goodness this step is still easy).

Ok - dinner is made. If you are feeling extra home-makery you can even do garlic bread simultaneously. Now for the sitting and enjoying. But wait - there's more.

Serve up meal on plates remembering who does and does not like it cut in advance.
Catch smallest child stealing bread in hunger thus beginning her life of crime.
Sit down.
Get up to get drinks which you forgot to pour.
Remind smallest child to eat with a fork, not her fist.
Tell oldest child he needs to eat 15 more bites before more bread.
Notice smallest child is hidden under layers of sauce so give her a cloth to wipe her face,
Notice smallest child is nowhere to be seen.
Find her under the table cleaning the floor with her face cloth.
Reposition smallest child at table and manage to eat rest of meal while ignoring the carnage.
Chase smallest child before she touches anything and place in bath, but not before a desperate attempt to get a picture of her messy state. (see video of fail).

How do I always forget that spaghetti is NOT an easy meal!!!!!????! The jar lies to you, parents. Just crack open and dinner is served? Not so much :-) I just sat down at 9pm!

Warning to future self - next time the hour is late and the littles are hungry, two words for you - FROZEN PIZZA. Two steps
1. Open Box
2. Cook pizza

....or is it?

Trying to get a pic of her messiness - even that is not as easy as it sounds!

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